So much has taken place since my last post, I don't know where to even begin! During my blogging absence I have experienced a pregnancy chalked full of emotions, the painful loss of my dear pet Harvey, and even more painful......an unexplained pruning of friendships. So you see...what I would call "my blogging absence", God calls it "my Wilderness."
For those of you that know me, I think it is safe to say that I am a pretty independent girl. The problem with my independence is that God NEVER intended for me to find my dependence apart from Him.
" I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord. I have nothing good apart from you." Psalm 16:2
I wasn't in the wilderness long before I started to fail the wilderness test. I felt alone....so I began to confront this season of my life in my own strength and power. There is a certain amount of pride that comes with being an independent woman, and we all know where pride leads to...the fall! Like Elijah, I chose to flee. Even though I was navigating the woods on my own, God chose to use this time in my life to teach me the most powerful lesson....My strength comes from the Lord, not myself...and it is a gift!
"God thus left Elijah to himself, to show that when he was bold and strong, it was in the Lord, and the power of His might; but of himself he was no better than his fathers. God knows what he designs for us, though we do not, what services, what trials, and he will take care that we are furnished with grace sufficient. " 1 Kings 19:9-13
If only I had remained steadfast in pursuit of the Lord and his plans for me during the fiery trials I was facing, I might have found myself out of the wilderness and dwelling in the plush house of the Lord sooner. Once you have tasted His presence...nothing else, no where else and no one else will do. There isn't an offering large enough to give Him that can out weigh the magnitude of love and care He has for His children when you place your trust in Him.....even in the wilderness.
After being blessed with my greatest gift yet, my sweet little girl London, I realized that the responsibilities of motherhood and the pressure I had placed on myself was going to be too much for me to handle alone. When I made the choice to be independent, I chose to carry the weight of my trial on my own shoulders. Like Jonah..I had to cry out from deep within the belly of my circumstance, and allow God to be Jehovah-Ropha "The Lord who Heals." I had to learn to trust Him to heal and make bitter things sweet. I had to stop what I was doing, and allow God to make since of my Wilderness. I had to drop to my knees and ask God to forgive me and deliver me from my independence apart from Him. Lastly, I had to roll my cares onto Him so that He could restore me, support and strengthen me and place me on a firm foundation.
" Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you. Stay Alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the earth are going through the same kind of sufferings. AND the God of Grace who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered for a little. He will make you perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you." 1 Peter 5:7-10
If you find yourself in the midst of a wilderness, I encourage you to STOP, DROP and ROLL! Freedom has never tasted so sweet :)
Be Blessed,
Kristen
Kristen
